Interview with Great BCIS Alumni | BCIS校友会：长大成人是一种怎样的滋味？

　　此篇送给逐渐长大成人的同学们。长大并不可怕，未知和转变会带来更多的惊喜，也欢迎家长们与您的孩子一起分享。

　　关于长大，有时孩子们会提出疑问或是发表感慨，例如：“长大以后会怎么样?”“长大以后就不用再XXXX”。但似乎一直没有一个准确的答案，长大到底是什么。今天我们就和大家分享北京乐成国际学校(BCIS)校友会中几名同学的成长感悟，他们长大后的所思所想。但也仅仅是参考，因为每个人的人生都是不可复制的，谁也无法按照别人的道路走，或是成为其他人的模样，人生如有雷同，纯属编剧自造。

　　这一次我们请来的4位校友，他们已处在各自不同的生活节点， 在(几经)身份的转变后，他们的想法和心态也都随之发生了巨大的改变，今天我们就和他们一起聊一聊长大成人后的那些滋味。

　　Q1： 面对问题或挑战，情绪低落时，如何让自己重回积极状态?

　　Ruoyi JIANG：BCIS第一届也是唯一的一个毕业生，现在纽约创业。她选择从内心调整自己。

　　“我在自己开店之后遇到过一个算是打击的一件事情。当时和一个朋友决定合作，而后因为意见不统一最后合作没有达成，但我没有想到的是她完整地抄袭、使用了我的设计，当我看到她毫无忌讳、铺天盖地的宣传的时候我确实很恼火，也有周边的朋友建议我走法律途径。但我是一个自省的人，所以我会先来看看自己在这样一个事件中有哪些做的不够好。当时认为是朋友，所以就没有签订协议一类，保护自己的知识产权，所以之后就导致了这样的问题。另一方面就是我从心态上调整，告诉自己这些设计的灵感和想法都是我的，我是可以再继续源源不断再继续创造的，所以我不需要和她再计较，或者说自己生气，这样其实影响更多的是自己。通过这样一件事我学到的会更多，学会原谅，学会向前看，让自己的修复能力增强。”

　　Jack LI：即将大学毕业，走进社会。成长是“脱敏”的过程，消极因素让他更加强大。

　　“我是一个在情绪上不会有太大起伏的人，所以可能我的积极性更多的是来源于消极或是负面因素对我的磨练和积累，在自我“修复”的过程中我会一点点变强，在下次的情况中我就会更加从容。当我做Sales manager(汽车行业)的时候，公司就遇到了公关危机，当时我们处在舆论中心，事实真相大众也未能全面了解到，我们只能按照常规的程序来解决这样的问题。我本人其实是可以从容应对的，我觉得是之前一次次其他“消极”经验积累的过程，让我的承受能力增强，转化成为一种动能。除此以外，对前景的判断和信任让我一直保持一种动力，或是说保持一种积极的状态。”

　　Alyson LIU：孩提时代的“拉钩”承诺已经失效，成年人有自己的方式。

　　“从十年级最后的毕业作品展我就开始意识到‘公私分明’是我要学习的成年人的游戏方式。当时为了举办音乐节我也是找了第三方合作，包括乐队、餐饮一类的，但是都没有签订合约。因为音乐节当天是周六，很多人也就都没有来，所以最后并没有很成功，而我联系的这些人其实也都是我的朋友，只是没有走协议这样一个步骤。所以当时我就明白，做事情上私人关系是没有任何意义的，也许还会造成麻烦。做事情还是要专业，这是现实，可能很残酷但是却能很好地保护双方的利益，也能推进事情顺利进行。”

　　YY说：也许“碰壁”是最佳的学习方式，当从童话世界里走出，直面现实时，他们从开始的拒绝接受逐渐转变为之后的“习以为常”，再一次次经历后，变得羽翼丰满。但如果不走出之前的温室，永远不知道自己可以变得多坚强。

　　Q2：现在还会像小时候一样有一个梦想或是坚持一个目标吗?

　　Ruoyi JIANG: 目标这种东西其实很难一直保持不变，因为不确定的因素太多了，所以会有调整和改变，但我认为有一个很重要的前提是有一个自己真正的爱好，这样才能有这种动力一直做某一件事情。在BCIS确实有这样的时间和机会去找到自己的兴趣，而不是被课业所包围了。

　　Jack LI: 我也认为兴趣爱好是设定一个目标的大前提。不能像英文课本上的对话一样，问喜欢做什么都是同一个答案：reading books(看书), watching movies(看电影), listening to the music(听音乐)。这种思路是不会让你有一种动力去实现什么目标，不热爱就很难坚持。

　　Amenda LI(在校大学生): 确实如此，在我高三的时候就一度厌学，是因为我觉得读了很多年的书没有意思，我不想再这样继续下去了，但是我又不知道要做些什么，似乎进入了一个停滞状态。当时家里人也不是很理解，所以我找了我的班主任老师Alex Davis先生。他和我分享了他的成长经历，鼓励我多去考虑更多积极的事情，让我感到开心的事情，引导我找到自己喜欢的方向。最后我选择了艺术类学科，现在在大学里我感到非常开心，完全沉浸在其中。我想这是因为我找到自己的兴趣所在，我才会一直到现在一直坚持和努力。

　　YY说：没有人可以给我们一个明确的答案，我们如何，在什么时间可以实现目标或者梦想。太多的不确定让理想变得模糊，但是我们拥有的是一成不变的热情，和对自己所爱的坚持。

　　Q3 从青春期到现在，在这样一个相对稳定的状态里，大家和父母、家人的关系有没有什么变化?

　　Ruoyi JIANG: 这个肯定是有的，原来可能一个月都想不起来给他们打一个电话，但是现在时不时就会想要和他们通话，这种牵挂是我们民族文化中最特别的，也是其他文化中没有的。

　　Jack LI: 我不记得具体是哪一年，我开始给家里的人买东西，出门会想到要给家人带些礼物，我周边的同学大概也都是那一时期开始和家里的关系变得很紧密。我会经常和他们说我爱你这一类的话，他们也可以接受这样的表达。

　　Alyson LIU：我是那种非常独立的性格，任何事情我都会自己做主，所以在上大学之前我和家人的关系并不是那么的亲密。但现在，当我发现他们变老，我就会很想去和他们多亲近，多沟通，这种是我之前没有想到的，但却是我现在格外想要珍惜的。

　　Amenda LI：真的是在自己挣过钱之后才了解到父母的辛苦，所以现在我特别能理解当时爸妈的那种感情，我也会给家人带礼物，多和他们沟通。

　　YY说：一脉相承的文化存在于我们的基因中，潜移默化中影响着人们的行为和语言，“孝”文化正是如此，“乌鸦反哺”将在一代代年轻人身上体现和传承。

　　Q4 你们还和BCIS的同学有联系吗?怎么“利用”你们这个强大的关系网?

　　在回答这个问题时，5位校友的答案达到了空前的统一。随着他们身份的转变，和同龄人之间的谈话内容也不再是“吃吃喝喝”那些事情，更多的是谈论一些有意义的事情。他们共同认为大学前结交朋友是最单纯毫无目的性的行为，而这些同学也是最有可能在今后成为各行各业佼佼者的种子选手，因此在当自己想要做一些事情的时候就会联系这些同学，可以给出一些专业的建议和帮助。这已经是大家普遍达成共识的一个现象，谈合作不意味着利用和没情意，更多地是从小建立起来的对彼此的信任以及相同的价值观，会更容易将这些力量聚集在一起，做更有意义的事情。

　　The BCIS mission is to challenge and empower students to be compassionate and inspired people, who act for the good of all and for the sustainable development of the world.

　　With the recent graduation ceremony of our 10th graduating class, the Class of 2018, we took the opportunity to interview some of our alumni who attended our BCIS Alumni Week that was part of the graduation celebrations and see the roads they have taken in life after graduating from BCIS. Four of our alumni stopped by the main campus to visit their alma mater, participate in our annual Board Breakfast with the BCIS community, meet with some of their previous teachers, as well as speak with their younger peers about life after high school and beyond. The first and sole graduate from the Class of 2009, Ruoyi Jiang; Class of 2014 student Jack Li; and members from the Class of 2017, Amanda Li and Alyson Liu, spoke about the life lessons they have learned upon graduating from BCIS, shared important wisdom they have attained from living life without their parents abroad, the changes they have experienced after “growing up,” and much more. We would like to share some of their experiences.

　　Ms. Ruoyi went on to study and graduate from New York University (NYU), and continues to live in New York where she is the proprietor of boutique shop “Chop Suey Club” that sells modern Chinese designers’ accessories and more. Mr. Jack is already in his final year at Bentley University, where he is learning about business and working on the side as a manager at a car sales company. Ms. Amanda is studying the art of Ceramic and Hot Glass making in a tranquil and peaceful Alberta University of Arts and Design, while Ms. Alyson is majoring in Marketing and Finance at Northeastern University. Each has chosen a different path to follow, but as foreign students living and studying abroad, they have endured similar challenges and overcome them. Some of these obstacles they have faced include getting adjusted to having complete independence over their schedules and life in general; enjoying the limited cuisine options around their universities (school cafeteria food is not for everyone); not having someone, a parent for example, telling them when to wake up or what to do; and more. Over time, they were all able to adapt and adjust to their new surroundings, living conditions, and overwhelming workload. They all unanimously mentioned that BCIS prepared them well regarding the latter, helping them succeed in university and their other endeavors after graduation so far.

　　The students also learned many poignant life lessons the hard way (i.e. experiencing these firsthand) after high school. Among these, this one was especially felt: sometimes, people you may think are friends can do the unimaginable. Ms. Ruoyi mentioned that a good friend of hers stole an incredible idea she had been working on for some time. This person, who she once considered a close friend, suddenly cut ties with her after pilfering her work for monetary gain without a shred of guilt. That is why Ms. Ruoyi cautioned others to be aware of who their true friends are.

　　On a more positive note, all the students shared how their relationships with their parents have grown stronger. Although none are parents themselves yet, the young adults have come to understand the perspectives of their parents more, as well as sympathize with them. Indeed, the love only a parent can provide for their child is truly special. In addition, distance makes a heart grow fonder, as well as brings families closer in a way. They also mentioned that with the advent of technology, it is also not a problem to keep in frequent contact with loved ones, no matter the differences in time and location.

　　Lastly, the alumni were asked this question: If there is one piece of advice you would like to share with our current BCIS students, what would it be? Mr. Jack emphasized that grades are not that important. Although he did not receive the best grades in high school (in fact, he admitted his grades were poor), he stated he has found success in both his higher education studies and work career by following his interests and excelling in these instead. Ms. Ruoyi also shared essential wisdom that fell on eager ears: “I want to share with you one very useful tip I wish I knew earlier: instead of thinking what kind of career you want to have, think what kind of lifestyle you want to have first. Then think about the type of careers that will allow this lifestyle to be your reality.”

　　We are thankful to our alumni for sharing their life stories with us. We are also looking forward to hearing more about their future endeavors and success.